proving myself + shining lights

A few weeks ago I found out that I didn't get a summer job I had applied for. It would've been an amazing experience, and at the time, I was pretty disappointed about not getting it. 

Yes, it would've been wonderful, but I'm adopting the true (although cliche) viewpoint that it's just not what God wants for me and that something better will come around. 


Recently so many doors have closed for me. It's discouraging and it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. Of course, this is just my insecurities speaking. Interestingly enough though, it's not because I worry about what other people think. It's more that I feel the need to prove to MYSELF that I'm capable of doing something. 


But, in the midst of closed doors and disappointments, small lights have been shining. 
Whether it's encouragement of friends, or an upcoming photography internship...God is showing me that, oh...I don't have it that badly, and should stop complaining. 


Two songs to leave ya'll with. 

I downloaded this song for free on NoiseTrade.com yesterday, and I've been listening to it all day. 

And of course, since I said "shining lights", I just had to include this song. I actually really like this music video too...usually music videos are awful, but I like this one. :) 

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good day

today was just dad and I, and it was marvelous! mom is out of town for the day, and so we just did "dad and daughter" things all day.  we re-painted (well, he painted) the kitchen, we got a bunch of cleaning done, went to Wal-Mart and then Pat Catans (I adoore craft stores!), watched Batman Begins and now we're making dinner together. :) hurrah

We have a gazillion cords behind our couch, and so we got a large vase [vaaaah-Z] and arranged dried grass and such in it. It looks lovely and hides all the cords nicely. Of course, the minute I had them all arranged, I dragged it all over to the sliding door to get some nice diffused light, and started shooting. :) 

toats unedited. :) it's rare that I post a completely unedited picture...so, whee! 

the rest of these have an artsy blue feel to them. :)

 I got all artsy with this one too. messed with the aperture, and made it a little fuzzy and "painting" like. hehe

 faav 

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super moon + ginger rogers dress

The famed "super moon" was out last night. granted, it wasn't as gigantic as some people had predicted, but it was still quite nice. I dragged myself outside on our deck, backed up nearly into the pool (eek!) in order to get a clear shot.  :)  

ps. this photo is dedicated to Jenn...since she seems to adore pictures of the moon....since she...can't see it herself? ;P 

yesterday was also a wedding! I have mixed feelings about weddings. I'm not a hater or a lover. I love certain parts, but dislike others. I think weddings will get increasingly better once they're "my friends" weddings versus my "parent's friends".   

I ADORE this picture. 

It's kind of a random picture of me to really love, but I do. It's the "how low can you go" part of the Cha Cha Slide....and it's two amazing friends of mine. =] 

I was so happy with the dress I found about 3 days before the wedding. It was $13 at JCPenney, and it's so retro and flowy! Here's another picture where you can see the whole thing. 

It reminds me of something that Ginger Rogers or Vera Ellen would wear, and that just thrills me. 

This week is spring break! 

Hopefully I'll get to all the things that I "didn't have time for" before. 

One of which is brainstorming with Erika on our respective photography pursuits. 

I'm trying to think of a name for my photography. Something to stick on all my photos for now, and then eventually brand myself as an actual legit photographer. 

This is my inspiration board.  (can we say type A personality?)  

My most recent music find / music obsession is the group "Shine Bright Baby". Depending if I can fit it into my schedule, I might see them in concert on April 9. (another part of my newest love of concert photography)  

I also feel the urge to update my blog design...I may just have to do that now.... :) 

~Ruthie 

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modern art = I could do that.

One of my biggests fears is looking back on my life and thinking "I could've done that" then realizing "yeah, but I didn't". 

I see the life I want to have and the person I want to be, but I don't know how to get there. 

 I have so many selfish and vain ambitions for my life. 

Lord, help me be content in where I am in life right now.

that is all. 

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